Food Network Shows

I'll fully admit that in reading a fellow blogger's recent post I was inspired to take off a bit on the same concept...Food Network shows. This is a fascinating phenomenon that has happened in television over the last 6 years or so. I think it's fabulous, especially on the plane when there's otherwise not much else to watch.

I'm a fan of cooking myself and fancy myself above average for a bachelor. Granted, I have a serious girlfriend now so that has been incentive to sharpen my skills and is generally a good motivator to cook. And so it's riveting to watch some of these TV chefs work and concoct things that I've never even thought about. Those individuals are true artists and deserve their own show I suppose.

But what I want to rant on for a bit are the people like Rachel Ray and Guy Fieri who appear to only be able to make food for kids who are on there way to fat camp. I was watching Rachel Ray not too long ago because my only other options were literally Dude Where's My Car and Meatballs 2 (the first one is a classic...let it be said). So I'm watching her do her thing, and on that particular day she was throwing together some kind of tac0-stuffed Pizza rolls; wherein you take the ingredients of a taco, put it on pizza and roll it up! And then it hit me....this woman cooks her own trash. She's been able to make a great living coming up with food for hung-over people. It's like her philosophy is to take 2 awful foods, combine them and come up with some concoction that only a 7 yr old would do on accident. I can see her coming back from a commercial right now....

"Welcome back to THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED ONE NIGHT.....we're in the middle of making chili bratwurst dogs topped with tater tots and macaroni salad. This is an old recipe that my mom had from when she looked in her trash can one day..."
That's exactly what she should be saying. Is it just me, or do you have to be a sophomore at Devry holding down a part-time job at a hardware store to enjoy her recipes?

Guy Fieri is not much better. Although he gets a few extra points for not taking two foods that don't go together and trying to create some drunken hybrid version. At least he's not coming back from break saying "Okay...so today we're gonna take some corn beef hash and make a salad with it!" Nevertheless, there's a reason he does the TGI Friday's commercials...that's all he can do apparently. I'm all for wings and chicken kebabs and taquitos. But even he stretches the line with something called a Jambalaya sandwich. I order this all the time..."Yeah, I'm gonna get the Jambalaya sandwich...only hold the bread cuz as it turns out, I'm not mentally disabled."

I appreciate what these people are trying to do.....slack off in the kitchen and essentially get by on a fairly nice pair of breasts or a ridiculous looking bleached spikey hair-do. If that's what it takes to get my own cooking show and put together meals that E.T. could muster with his 3 fingers on each hand, then consider me a viable candidate. I just need to work on the spikey blonde hair-do.