Glorious Mistake

I made a pretty large mistake the other day. Fortunately there were no consequences other than a blow to my pride and intelligence. I was in a poorly lit bar and I was trying to get past this guy who was seated at the bar. So I politely said, "excuse me brother"...at which point I heard a female voice respond "no problem."

Obviously it's a strange predicament to take a second look and realize that the person you called "brother" was a woman. But I stood by it. See....the woman had a shaved head; I'd say like a #2 on the clippers....maybe a #3 (if you know your guards), and was dressed in a flannel shirt and jeans like she was the bass player in Candlebox or something (if you remember that group, I strongly salute you).

She didn't seem upset and her tone of voice when she responded "no problem" was not at all defensive. I'm guessing she probably just didn't hear me right, which is good. But I knew in my heart the mistake that I made, the gender reversal is usually irreversible. It's a non-rectifiable mistake. It's out there, you said it, you were wrong....take care! And that's pretty much the attitude I took. I said it, realized my mistake and moved on both physically and psychologically. The woman had a shaved head for hell's sake! And you throw on a flannel shirt and jeans and I'm just expecting you to be in a Sinead O'connor tribute band. I can't be expected to know what kind of fashion statement you're supposed to be making with a look like that. It's dark, and I tend to not look people in the face at bars lest someone strike up a conversation with me that I don't want to have. Or some Guido thinks I'm trying to act tough and next thing I know I'm having to diffuse a possible fight.

So instead, I'd rather just put my head down, stare off vaguely at something else and run the risk of calling a random woman, "brother". It's just how I do it. Not saying it's right.