Celebrities Dying

This has been a tough year in Hollywood. A lot of losing battles to this thing called death. Apparently everyone has this condition and it will catch up to all of us some day. It's a shame though that several key figures in the celebrity world have died this year....all quality artists and public figures. Starting with the most notable, we lost the King of Pop, MJ. We also lost 70's sex symbol Farrah Fawcett, along with newsmakers Walter Cronkite and Robert Novak. Renown filmmaker John Hughes passed away and now we just lost the one and only Patrick Swayze.

These are all people that I personally liked and respected. All of them contributed significant work to society and made our lives better for it. I think it's pretty safe to say that most everyone would agree. It's a shame they are gone. A special moment of silence for losing Jonny Castle, Bodi, and Dalton (all characters played by Swayze........can you name the movies in which he had each name respectively?). The guy did some fine work I thought.

But why can't we have more deaths amongst shoddy, low-brow celebrities? I know I know, it sounds mean. But let's just think about certain people and why we are better off without them.

When can we hear about Tom Green's death? How bout Carlos Mencia? Ashton Kutcher? The list is long and distinguished. Personally if I had to hear about the seemingly tragic death of these people, I might do a half shoulder shrug and then move on with my day. I just think if Amy Winehouse or Kevin Federline bit the dust, there might be reason to celebrate. I'm not saying that these people deserve to die; that's not my point. All I'm saying is that I can't promise you I wouldn't have people over.

If the entire cast of Entourage died in a huge fire at a strip club (a real possibility), it would be very hard for me not to assemble a pinada and actively seek out a birthday to celebrate. There's a good chance that if Paris Hilton accidentally fell out of a window and grabbed on to Nicole Ritchie's hair to save herself, and as a result, pulled Nicole out of the window too.... I can't promise you there wouldn't be a knee-jerk reaction to buy a disco ball and hire a cover band.

Again, I'm NOT saying these people should perish. Not at all. That's just cruel and unwarranted. I am saying that God-forbid it happen, I might be tempted to throw a few back that night.

There's no judgement here on character or even artistic integrity. Just a myriad of possible celebratory shenanigans that would be mere coincidence in surrounding the death of people who we're better off without.

Glorious Mistake

I made a pretty large mistake the other day. Fortunately there were no consequences other than a blow to my pride and intelligence. I was in a poorly lit bar and I was trying to get past this guy who was seated at the bar. So I politely said, "excuse me brother"...at which point I heard a female voice respond "no problem."

Obviously it's a strange predicament to take a second look and realize that the person you called "brother" was a woman. But I stood by it. See....the woman had a shaved head; I'd say like a #2 on the clippers....maybe a #3 (if you know your guards), and was dressed in a flannel shirt and jeans like she was the bass player in Candlebox or something (if you remember that group, I strongly salute you).

She didn't seem upset and her tone of voice when she responded "no problem" was not at all defensive. I'm guessing she probably just didn't hear me right, which is good. But I knew in my heart the mistake that I made, the gender reversal is usually irreversible. It's a non-rectifiable mistake. It's out there, you said it, you were wrong....take care! And that's pretty much the attitude I took. I said it, realized my mistake and moved on both physically and psychologically. The woman had a shaved head for hell's sake! And you throw on a flannel shirt and jeans and I'm just expecting you to be in a Sinead O'connor tribute band. I can't be expected to know what kind of fashion statement you're supposed to be making with a look like that. It's dark, and I tend to not look people in the face at bars lest someone strike up a conversation with me that I don't want to have. Or some Guido thinks I'm trying to act tough and next thing I know I'm having to diffuse a possible fight.

So instead, I'd rather just put my head down, stare off vaguely at something else and run the risk of calling a random woman, "brother". It's just how I do it. Not saying it's right.

Landing a Job

Why has it become so difficult to land a job in this day and age? I'm not talking about the consequences of our current recession, but rather just a general difficulty in finding a good job. We're all in the same position, we have to work for our living in order to survive. Work is the main thing that allows us to do just that. So why is the most seemingly primal catalyst in survival so hard to acquire? It's almost like the methods to this achievment are set up in opposition; like most industries and corporations are structured for rejection, not invitation.

Should we really have to take an hour out of our day to fill out an online application and submit it to no-mans-land via cyberspace. How bout the username and password you had to create just to establish a profile so that you CAN submit through their application website? It's like they're making you become a member of a group that is auditioning you to become an actual member? Seems like a strange irony to me.

What about 3-4 rounds of interviews for an otherwise meager position? I once had 3 rounds of interviews for an administrative assistant position, and when I got to the interview they couldn't even tell me exactly what I'd be doing..."it's pretty open right now, we're re-structuring a lot of things so the job could turn into anything". Awesome! Three interviews for a job that you can't even describe? Sign me up...right after I light this fuckin' place on fire! I didn't light the place on fire, nor did I get the position. I'm glad about it now, but hindsight appreciation doesn't get me back that wasted time or the contentious attitude my current boss had in letting me have the time off to go to the interview (she thought it was a Dr.'s appt of course).

It's like an obstacle course with monkeys throwing shit at you after you trip over one of the rubber tires in the middle of the course. That's not based on a true story, but you get the idea. No one should have to go threw all these hoops just to simply put some food on his/her plate. If the president and his administration want to talk about job creation, let's start talking about creating better jobs for people, not just more. Cuz in order to land a job wherein you don't want to blow your head off or your colleague's head off...you have to first get socked in the gut by a 1,000 gorillas and THEN AND ONLY THEN you might get the gig.

It's not a problem caused by a recession necessarily. I've personally always felt the difficulty in landing a decent job. Perhaps I'm too picky? Perhaps I'm hard to satisfy? Perhaps I need to shave off this spiked mohawk? Could be a combination of all those. But I'm pretty sure I'm not wrong here, as I've gotten the same attitude from many of my peers. And let's face it, most people hate their jobs.

So there's everyone's predicament really, we all get in line to jump through hula hoops laced with horseshit just so that we can plop down in our cubicle and get carpal tunnel.

I'm moving to Scotland now, I want to be a shepherd. Ever heard of a sheep that talked back to you or asked you to "enter this in a spreadsheet"? No, no you have not.