Facebook Attitude

Let me first say right out of the gate that I'm not much of a facebook person. Something about not being able to hug and kiss the people I love and smack the people I dislike...I don't know, guess I'd rather have the real thing. But today I had some strange compulsion to hop on and research some people.

My sister is probably more connected on the site than I am, I have like 8 friends and let me just state that I think it's a crying shame that my girlfriend won't add me. But anyway, I started on her page just perusing some of her friends, turns out she has probably a couple dozen connections to people from our mutual high school. Now these of course, were mostly her friends but I remember them and I'm sure most of them remember me. But as I cruised down this imaged-filled memory lane, I found myself rather hooked; hooked on the kettle cooked jalapeno potato chips I was eating, and also hooked on finding more and more blast from the past persons who I otherwise didn't give a damn about until this strange out of body experience I was having.

As it goes, these people triggered other names, those names triggering more names, on and on it went until I found people that I haven't even thought of for roughly 15 years (I barely thought about them then). Gotta admit it was kind of fun, some of my sisters peers lead me to some of my peers, we were only 2 grades apart after all.

But here's the thing, without befriending them, I couldn't tell what they were doing or how they were living. Some names had changed on the female side of things, so I know that marriages had happened and kids had been born and all that great stuff. But what caught me was this urge to look into their lives and try to compare them to mine.

This HAS to be the most enticing aspect of Facebook I would think. It is this ability to check in on people not so much because you care about their welfare necessarily (I would think the people whose welfare you truly care about, you pick up a phone, right?), but because it's somehow fascinating to us as humans to size others up, measure progression, and then take a glance in the mirror to see if we're keeping up, surpassing, or falling behind in the rat race of life.

And I, someone who hates looking in the past, got hooked tonight. It was a strange feeling...kinda like I was invisible at a high school reunion with no obligation to talk to anyone. I've personally never been a fan of high school reunions for the aforementioned reason. If you lost touch after high school, there's probably a reason why. Not that saying hello and a brief friendly chat isn't pleasant, it certainly could be. But I also have to admit a judgmental streak in me in thinking that if you were an asshole then, you're probably still an asshole...and even if you're not an asshole anymore, I only knew you then and life's to short to actively seek out who may or may not have changed; I simply move on. Anyway, I just find that the people who are on facebook all the time are the same kinds of people that would JUMP at the chance of a high school reunion every 10 years....hell, even 5 years.

And as I see it, this kind of person usually falls into one of two categories....

The dorky/nerdish/goth/awkward person who didn't have the privilege of being so popular at the time (I always felt kinda sorry for these kids, after all, surely they didn't choose this image...their parents were probably dorks too, or maybe they had a rough upbringing etc). This person really has only one reason to show up: to show how much they've changed. It's an opportunity to let everyone know, "hey I'm not a dork anymore, in fact I made CFO by the time I was 28, and am thinking of starting my own business.......I'd ask you to invest, but you probably don't have the capital and you fucked with me in high school, so forget I even asked." This is really the only statement the person in this category has to make at such an occasion. I personally can't imagine any other reason why someone unpopular who struggled for attention and friendships in high school would return to such a scene.

Then there's the ultra popular/jock/beauty queen/cool guy/homecoming/prom royalty that probably peaked too early in life and is now back to relive the glory days hoping the others will reign down accolades on them just like the old days before they started selling tires at Sears. For this person, it's an opportunity to forget how quickly reality caught up to them and instead clasp at the past as if it was still the present. "Remember that game? Dude I threw 4 touchdowns that night".
Nothing wrong with a little reminiscing. But that's usually all they have to talk about. Their time was then, and my how things turned out differently than they expected.

Then there's the rest of us, fairly average joes and janes who unwittingly took in that time for what it is (a rite of passage to an adult life), and understand that that's ALL that was. Sure, friendships developed along the way, some we still have with us, but more than likely they're the same kind of person that I'm talking about right here. Grounded, and with the understanding that there's no need to go back really. It's fun, but it can become an obsession quickly.

I was hooked tonight and almost became convinced that I needed to change my life, strategies, relationships, and career. But I don't. I'm at where I'm at and so is everyone else. And the religious practice of daily facebook browsing, twittering and researching everyone else will never change that fact. All it will do is make you compare. And in an ever-changing world that's becoming more and more subjective and relative...it's gotta be a big waste of time.

Nonetheless, I still can't believe Bobby Swenson got married, that guy was a complete tool back in the day.