Golden Globes

As a general fact, I don't really tune in to awards shows when they air. They're notoriously boring and even when I give myself a chance to like them, the aforementioned fact is nearly always confirmed. Plus, deep down, they award the worst in humanity--self-glory, shallow accomplishments relative to what's actually virtuous, and idolization. There's too many false idols in this world, we don't need yet another awards show to continue proving it.

But I did catch a little of the Golden Globes last night. Not enough to rattle off who won what, but a few minutes here or there. Mostly I read about Ricky Gervais' hosting performance. I must confess, as a fan of comedy and a practitioner myself, I think Gervais is just about as sharp as it gets. He's super quick with practically unparalleled wit and a solid knack for surprise by way of the sarcastic remark. All things I appreciate in good humor. So on the record, I'm a fan.

But in reading the reviews, it seemed like he treated it like a roast more than an awards show. Refreshing I can imagine to viewers, but certainly not appreciated by his industry peers. And that was generally the consensus I got from the reviews and also the feeling I had during certain segments I watched.

I gotta confess, the more I watch him and observe his comedy style and tactics...the more I gotta wonder, is this guy really a happy man? Now some might say, "well he's a comedian, so by definition....NO". I appreciate such an opinion. As a comedian myself I can relate and I would agree to an extent that there's a correlation (though it isn't necessary). But there's a paradox I've noticed in him, and that is an incessant need to call everyone and everything out on what's wrong with it/them. What's his actual goal or point? Doth Gervais protest too much?

Now on the one hand, this is necessary for any truly funny comedian to be able to do. That I would agree with. But it seems like it's really a personal thing for Gervais. He simply cannot NOT rag on his own industry and peers around him. Satire is a great thing, maybe one of the best especially when it comes to Hollywood. But when the joke is aimed at someone's addiction, that, for all you know, was a very painful and damaging experience (and more than a decade ago)...I have to ask, what is your real intention here?

Now here's the thing. I will fully concede that it's really really hard to find any sympathy for Hollywood celebrities when your fake chest got you the job, or your parents paved the way for you (Keifer, Paltrow, Jolie etc.). And for the most part, let's face it, they're not really seen as virtuous people, and it's probably safe to say that they don't even like each other deep down. So Gervais deserves some credit for calling it out. But it's the different between making a point with jabbing humility, and hammering away at it with apparent malice disguised as "satire".

As I watched portions of the show and read up on some of the barbs Gervais threw out, I realized...funny though he is, he's really just mean. I don't know him, but I can't imagine he's a nice man at the end of the day. And I say that because the real sign of good chracter is when you can be nice to the people even when you don't like them. I don't at all think that people like Justin Bieber, or the Jersey Shore cast, for example, deserve ANY attention and recognition whatsoever. I do not think they're talented or contribute anything to the betterment of society; in fact, they make it worse. That is MY opinion. But there's also no urge within me to go on live television to broadcast those sentiments as if my opinion is that important. Mind you, I'm convicted that I'm right about them. But there's a gauge I have that tells me "Everyone pretty much knows, so it's futile to make the point".

Anyone can love the people they like, how hard is that? I've noticed that truly humble people who have good character are somehow able to love (or at least respect) the people that they don't like. Gervais seems to be something of an oxymoron, have you noticed? Think about it. He goes on record to criticize Hollywood for doing the very thing that he does in his criticism: tearing others down for a bit of self-glorification. Only Gervais disguises it in the form of "comedic satire" which, for some strange reason, gets passed by those just as non-reflective or jaded as he is.

Now perhaps he would respond, "I don't do it for self-glorification...I don't need to do that." Well, then the question becomes, "Why do it then?". It's the difference between mere criticsm, and offering a solution; between merely tearing down versus tearing down IN ORDER to build up. If Gervais' real deep-seeded wish is to see a more humble and virtuous industry around him, perhaps the better route is merely to just showcase good character and humility himself rather than pointing out how awful everyone and everything is.

He's gone on record to say that "there's nothing you shouldn't joke about, it depends on the joke". I'm not sure if I really understand his point here...I assume he's drawing a distinction between the subject matter and the actual punchline (what's said); and I would agree that that can mean the different between funny vs. offensive. But I have to wonder if he really knows the consequences what he's saying. Absolute remarks like that usually come from people that absolutely don't love or revere anything. That unabashed mentality of recklessness in the name of being bold or edgy surely can't make for a happy existence. If somethings aren't sacred or inherenty right or wrong, then that makes for a pretty awful world.

People with this mentality seem to always be out to prove a point. Like most everyone else, these people die eventually and no one remembers them, except for their anger. Not a great legacy. It is builders that people remember. Not mere critics.

PUBLIC FIGHTING

It occured to me that some people have close to zero discretion when it comes to airing emotional and sometimes physical discourse in public settings. My sister is a totally sane person...........now. But growing up together was basically 18 yrs of fighting, we had a hard time getting along. And I remember her willingness to have a fight in public places like a supermarket or parking lot. And I don't mean boxing, but an all out yelling match or making a scene.

And other than the obvious discomfort of having a fight with someone in general, I remember thinking, "how are you able to do this....don't you feel the least bit uncomfortable drawing negative attention to yourself (and me) in the canned food aisle?.....I sure as hell do!" But for some, that wall of discretion that says "not here" is either made of soaked cardboard or they just weren't given one from birth. Amazes me.

In NYC where I live, this is blown up beyond comprehension. People's willingness to just shout at their girlfriend or boyfriend on the phone....not just shouting, blood curdling screaming, cursing and hellish name-calling. All taking place on the sidewalk with other people around or else standing on the subway platform waiting for a train with a bunch of other people who'd rather not be forced to listen to how dysfunctional their relationships are! If you're lucky enough to catch a subway in Queens or Brooklyn where the trains sometimes run above ground (thus allowing cell phone reception), then you might further enjoy them bringing their quasi COPS episode on to the train as well......you know....where it's super quiet and everyone just wants to sit in peace like they normally would in their own car.

But what really interests me is to see a stranger break up a fight between two other strangers. Guys who break up fights between other guys that they don't know fascinate me. After I saw it, I couldn't help but think "would I have done that". No. No I would not. I don't get it. You don't know the guys, they don't know you, it's not your problem and you have no stake in it...so what are you doing it for? Granted, most people actually don't want to fight when it comes down to it. And most people don't want to see violence happen in front of them. Nor do I.

However the question is, what jurisdiction does the breaker-uper have in the equation? If my friends Tom and Bill have maybe had too much to drink and a dispute or argument leads to physical altercation, I step in, of course. I know each of them, I know they'll regret it, and we're all friends. But what grounds does the stranger have to break up a fight? Seems kinda rude in a strange funny way. You're basically butting in and not minding your business. Only in this case, you could accidentally take an elbow to the nose.......or maybe one on purpose. The two fighting could turn on you!

If a guy is getting beaten by another man severely, one is morally obligated to step in and try to protect by pulling the other guy off. But if two idiots are about to throw blows over who was standing to close to whom on the subway....then good luck to ya fellas, gouge each others eyes out for all I care. I have salmon thawing and I should probably get home.

STAYING LATE FOR NO REASON!!

Please post a comment for this entry if you think you really have a sound answer to this......but why are these people in the cubicles in front of me CHOOSING to stay late on a Friday and acting like there's pertinent work that has to get done? I'm in the same office, in the same department, even the same project! And I can tell you...there isn't reason to stay.

There's an absolutely wonderful and not annoying at all sect of office workers who think they're cool or "going the extra mile" by staying an extra hour late at the office, even though that hour is spent on facebook or wikipedia or some crap that has nothing to do with their actual job. I guess keeping up appearances is the "right" thing to do within the realm of office politics.

You know who doesn't stay late at their job for no reason in order to keep up appearances? Farmers! Shepherds! Firefighters! There's probably others. Anyone who doesn't make their living in an office, basically.

Well I guess they can stay here as late as they want watching Youtube videos or going over some work that is making their eyes bleed......I for one, am outta here. That is....after I finish this blog.
Done.

...okay, now I'm really leaving.

Too Much Tech and Info?

I was shopping in Bed Bath and Beyond the other day, because I'm married now. And as my wife was looking at curtain rods, I offered to mozy over to the sheets and pick up a set that we had registered for. She seemed concerned that I wouldn't remember the style and brand that we originally liked, but I assured her "I got this".

As I made my way into the sheets section hoping nobody I knew was around, I noticed a sign posted at the start of a short aisle that said "How to buy sheets". That's literally what it said. I squinted and began to read. Then it hit me..."what the hell are you doin' man? you don't want to actually be caught reading this thing". So I quickly looked away and reassured myself that I had what it takes to select a set of sheets, physically walk them to the checkout, and swipe a debit card. No "how to" guidelines needed for this guy, I can buy sheets, what am I?...an idiot?

But the 2nd thought that popped into my head was, "Is that what it's come down to? We're so used to information technology and cell phone apps that we can't even buy sheets anymore? We have to be reminded? Of course that sign wasn't posted for that reason, but for some reason, that was the thought I immediately had.

I just had a friend hit me up in an email about a new "project/business" she was starting up, and when I checked out the site, it seemed to be another opportunity to sign up for yet another social network! I had a myspace page, I have a facebook page, I have a website, and I have a blog. I don't need anymore people peeping in to my world. It's not even that interesting at the moment anyway.

I'm a fan of technology. It has certainly made our lives easier. But is that necessarily a good thing? For instance, my wedding weekend....I had a destination wedding so I had friends and family calling and texting me constantly on my cell wanting to know where, what, and when on a half-hourly basis. So I was fetching calls and feeding information to over a dozen people all day for 2 days up until I arrived at the ceremony. I was stressed from planning my own wedding. Not how I pictured it.

So the question came to me...what on earth did people do in the 90's and earlier in a situation like this? How, i ask how, could someone pull off an event such as mine? They would have had to plan in advance? They would have had to do research in advance to know where everything is. Maps would have needed to be purchased. Thought would have had to go into their communication strategy, and promptness and accountability would need to be applied. Perhaps this sounds like a pain in the butt for them, but it would have made my life a hell of a lot easier that weekend.

Cell phones are fantastic, almost as great as DVR (after all, we absolutely CANNOT miss what's on TV these days, it's amazing). Indeed, the cell phone and navigation systems that come with them make life a bit easier, that's why people shell out dough to have them. But the same kind of quick fix has made its way into our social lives and we no longer have to communicate on an interpersonal level (unless we choose to). Actual conversations are being had via text messaging, I've seen texts come in 4 or 5 parts....hell, some people won't even use the phone much for it's actual purpose....PICKING IT UP.

Now right about now you're thinking, "okay, what's your point exactly?". I don't have one. I often don't have one. I'm just writing crap in my blog hoping that some tight thesis or conclusion comes to me and it often doesn't. A stupid sign at BB&B on how to buy sheets caused me to think about other facets of our informational world.

I guess my point is that the answer (as usual) lies somewhere in the middle. I love my cell phone for the convenience it provides me, and I also know how to buy sheets.

Whew....saved it there, for a minute I didn't think I was gonna have a tight wrap-up to hammer my point.

Honeymoon

I got married a couple weeks ago and now we're back from our honeymoon and trying to adjust to normal married life, whatever that is.

The wife cooked dinner the other night, I cooked dinner last night, tonight I'm not gonna be home til 9:30 or so, and she offered to make dinner to have ready for me when I got home. Feels good. Nice to be married. I do wish we were back in Hawaii though, sipping on $12 cocktails near the pool and then hopping into the ocean for a mildly drunken snorkel session.

It kinda made me wonder why anyone lives anywhere else. I suppose some people would get island fever after a while, but I would gladly welcome that in contrast to the hard living I experience here in the concrete jungle of NYC. To each his own I suppose. I'm just saying that when I'm on a crowded bus of rude people, I would not mind if a tropical fish swam within 2 feet of me and appeared to wink.

We had a blast on the honeymoon. Nothing but paradise and pleasure coming together for 10 days straight. Sunset dinners, parasailing, snorkeling, catamaran cruises, champagne...and plenty more activity. Now the real world of marriage begins though. Do I do her laundry now too when I need to throw in a load? If I'm hungry, do I fix a snack for two automatically? Can't leave any more dishes out, that's certain. Knocking on my own bathroom door feels strange as well. But it's all part of the journey. I'm thoroughly convinced despite the adjustment that I made the best decision of my life.

I'm totally on board.

MOVING

I recently had a big move this weekend. Well, not that big, I moved to what is equivalent to a 10 minutes walk from where I was living before. Kind of a frustrating move, cuz you feel like you didn't actually move even though two couches were carried down 4 flights of stairs, and an entertainment center had to be dismantled and put back together again.

I have some steller friends in my quiver, who all showed up to help out and contribute to the cause. I of course returned the favor with delicious pizza and a trip to a local beer garden where I picked up the tab. I've come to the determination that a true test of a real friend is if they're willing to help you move when they are available. I had one guy spring a last minute "my ex-girlfriend just booked a last minute train into the city...so I'll be entertaining her starting tomorrow morning". You mean by "entertaining" that you're gonna be throwin' her around in the sack because you STILL can't break it off clean? Got it.

I've done this for several of my friends more than once and I'm happy to do it again (help them move, that is). For some reason, I see it as an excellent opportunity to serve my friends in a very needful way. Most people balk at the thought of helping someone move. But these people, more than likely, are just lazy. You know you're gonna be rewarded with a full stomach of something rife with saturated fat, plus enough beer to get your buzz on if you choose....so why not say yes to it? Think about it. You're burning mass calories during the actual move, and then putting them back at the end with food and brews. It evens out and no trip to the gym is necessary that day.

On different but related note. Time Warner Cable customer service sucks beyond comprehension. We transfered our account to the new address but we now have shoddy wireless internet. All I wanted was to schedule a tech to come out and change out our wireless router. 30 minutes later of being transfered to a bunch of imbecile's, I'm told that the soonest they can get a tech out to me is over a week from now. That's cool TW, I'll just keep paying for the service like there's no issue until then. Of course we can go without internet even though our cycle started on Oct 1st and it's now approaching the middle of the month!

I would switch to Verizon Fios, but the surprise of paying an additional $60 in hidden "we don't even know what that is" fees is even more daunting of a prospect.

SAYING GOODBYE TO SINGLENESS

I'm about 2 weeks away from getting married in New Orleans. It's very exciting and it's definitely the best decision I've ever made in my life. Granted, it will be a committment and a lot of sacrifice, but what kind of person do we really evolve to be without those virtues? Not much of one, in my humble opinion.

Nevertheless, I have come to realize retroactively (and will probably have more realizations once I'm a few years into my marriage) that there is definitely something to be said for the single life. You see, I've spent 90% of my adult life as a single person. I was never a "player of the field" if you will. I had some girlfriends over the years but probably not as many as the next guy. I guess I was just okay flying solo. I'm used to my autonomy, my own decisions, choices, tastes, and freedom. So for me this is a big step and will prove to be an interesting transition. And I do look forward to further refinement as a man...which only a woman can perform.

Having said that, I thought I might recap on a slew of things that I'll either miss or won't be doing anymore as a single dude living in a major market. Mind you these are just a few things I'm pretty much saying goodbye to, not that I'll NEVER engage in these activities/endeavors/interests again, but I'm considering them gone. So here's what I'm saying adios to:

Playing air bass
Leaving my socks right where they are because I'm fine with where they are
Sitting on the edge of my bed for 30 minutes in my robe deciding what my next move will be
Leaving beer bottles visibly out because I think it's art
Foosball
Knowing exactly where stuff is
Wearing my concert t-shirt's just about everywhere
pretty much my wardrobe as I know it
loud rock & roll
wiffle ball
Pizza at 3am
Flirting with girls
Looking at girls
Talking to girls
Merely acknowledging that other girls exist
Fetching my own beer (that's a joke, hope you get it)
All the Van Halen I can take
Crashing on my buddy's couch cuz I'm too lazy/hammered to head home that night
The Ultimate Fighting Championship
My money
Any friend who's merely been a drinking/goof-off buddy over the years
All female friends (not that I had any)
Singing R&B ballads simply because I'm in the mood
Peeing with the door open
that piece of furniture

.......the list is long and distinguished, I'm sure I'll add more to it over the years.

None of these thing am I truly holding onto too tightly, like St. Paul said, "when I became a man, I put away childish things." And thus I will too.

But I will NOT...repeat NOT.....start wearing loafers and yacht shorts! Ever.